This journal is one of the most hardest ones that I have had to type out. This week has been rough, not only on me---but my family. The reason why I am making this journal is to ask if you can keep my family and I in your prayers or thoughts. We just found out some news that we were sort of expecting, but not this soon.
On Monday, we get a call from my grandmother saying that my grandfather is not in good shape. He went to the doctor and found out that his bladder is not working at all. Because it is not working, the toxins in his urine are backing up and attacking the kidneys in result. He was to have a catheter in him 3x a day to help along with the process. Along with this, that we would need to think about putting him in the home permanently for the remainder of his life because of the constant need for a nurse. We already knew his kidneys were not functioning hardly because of his pulmonary embolism 3 years ago. Slowly but sure enough, his kidneys are barely working--less than 10%--and he is not a candidate for dialysis because there were too many cons than pros with all of his health issues. When his kidneys don't work, the bladder is affected because of the toxins. The toxins can't be released from the body.
Today comes, and it even gets worse. Between yesterday and this morning, his body is now taking a hit. He can no longer swallow drinks or his pills and he refuses to drink from his straw. Not only this, he is now wheelchair bound because he can't walk anymore. He fell several times today with a caregiver because he doesn't have the strength to walk anymore. His dementia has hit full blown and is making his brain not function anymore. His brain can't communicate to his legs or to his throat to walk or swallow. The caregivers and nurse decided that it was best for him to be in a wheelchair to conserve his energy for eating since he is insulin dependent. My dad and my aunt talked it over with my grandmother and agreed that he needs to go to the home. Because of his condition that it isn't safe for him to be at home, my grandmother called in hospice care to have my grandfather go to a temporary nursing home so that he would be taken care of. The caregivers are no longer able to take care of him properly. Due to this, my dad, my aunt, and my grandmother are going to have a meeting with hospice and others to decide where to put my grandfather with the insurance and money. But, in our hearts---we know that he will not be coming home. The nurse today told us to begin to prepare for the worst because of his dementia. The body can only go so long without water/food and for working period. We all have a feeling that this is the beginning of the end, and know that he won't be in the home too long before he passes away.
We have called my Uncle Joe from Delaware to possibly see if he would like to visit my grandfather (his brother) for one last time because it would only be a matter of time. We all are heartbroken from this. I don't think I have seen my dad cry the way he did today. We can try to prepare the best that we can, but when it happens nobody can be prepared for a relative passing away. I have known my grandfather all my life, and he is the only grandfather that I have. Even though we knew that this was going to happen---we didn't think this soon. I was just saying to my cousin on Tuesday that it wouldn't be long for him to pass away and he won't make it till the end of the year. Now, it may be that he won't make it past next month or very much longer than that. So with this, I ask for all my Watchers and Visitors to keep my family in your prayers or thoughts. I would appreciate it during this rough time. I will update when I can.
With this being said, I might be on a hiatus with art for a while. I will be on to check my messages because I am too addicted, but I may not do any arts for a while---depending on what happens. Who knows, maybe some art will happen to take my mind off of this.
Listening to: TV
Watching: CSI: Miami
Playing: Resident Evil 5